wow... good bye 2011

This year has sure flown by. I know they say once you have kids the years just go faster and faster and I never really believed it till it came true and now I can't seem to slow the clock down one bit!

This new years eve I am sitting in my quiet living room with all 3 little princess tucked in their beds and sleeping so soundly. My husband is working tonight and I am laying here  and counting all the blessings we have surrounding us and how grateful I am for this year. It has been a adventurous one With Sarah turning 4! then Sophia turning 1! Then me turning 29! lol the last of my 20's! Then the birth of our Sydney pie. Then hubbys surprise birthday party! Adrian turning 16! Steven getting the position at Kiaser!

So many more milestones in between. So many blessings and challenges and memories. I will be forever thankful for 2011 for it was a year to remember for sure. I have grown in the Lord. and I have learned so much about friendship and family.

Tomorrow as we wake up it will be a new start to a new year and another chance to make some new resolutions.

My personal resolution is to get back in shape. isn't that a classic one? lol but i just joined a weightless challenge and I kinda would love to win! competitive? nah.

I wanna set a few more personal ones to. More time with God. keeping a journal and continuing my devotionals. 

So I welcome u 2012!! 

slowly i exhale

Slowly I exhale as i sit in complete silence and the only thing on is the christmas tree and my laptop. I had a hell of a day. and I didn't even leave the house! Everyone was whining today ALL day and I seriously questioned investing in a sound proof box, like the size of a telephone booth and placing it in my garage and locking myself in there and screaming. 
Today didn't start out that way in fact it start out awesome! laughs, giggles from all 3 girls and then right before lunchtime it hit and it was melt down town! time outs and naps were handed out and mommy time out with an extra cup of coffee (this is where i put the gate up blocking off the kitchen and sit on the rug in front of my stove so no kid can see me, just so u have a visual). Then Sydney didn't want to nap and she started crying and woke up Soph  early.Then Soph decided she was cranky and whines about everything when she is tired. Then Sarah pissed her off and Sophia started in with the screaming. Got Sydney down for a nap and Sophia and Sarah were good watching tv so I snuck up to take a shower. (i do this often with no problems) then Sarah snuck over gate and went upstairs and with her loud voice she woke up Sydney and then I was upset and yelled at her to go downstairs. Lets just say Sarah spent most of the day in time out and didn't even get her popsicle after dinner. 
I have my melt down and start crying cause i just wanted to have a nice pj day at home and enjoy my kids and play and hug and kiss on them and they were making it impossible... Sydney wanted to nurse all day! and Sophie wanted to eat all day and Sarah wanted to bug Sophie all day and obviously fell in love with the time out spot cause she was there often sometimes even got sent back as soon as she got out!
Days like this i miss my job! I miss being able to clock in and out and leave my work behind and even the option of calling in sick or going home early cause I'm sick. Sometimes during these days I don't even know who to call or text or who to turn to for prayer or advice or to see f they are going through this to and to see what they do... sometimes I feel so lonely in this world. My husband works so much and so hard and he is often sleeping during the day that i can't even text him or talk to him about this cause as soon as he wakes up he has to go right back to work again.This mommy hood is no joke and sometimes I sit back and I know God has a reason for everything but with how close these babies r Im just not seeing it and that makes me sad but sometimes its soooooooo hard to be joyful when I have days like this. which i should be grateful are few and far between. but today not so much feeling grateful here.... I know sad!
I also feel like i put myself out there and try to be friends with people and invest time and energy and sometimes I feel like I must not be worth it cause i don't get it back in return. Then there are those friends who say they are but really aren't cause all they do is talk about u or share your stories with others and i don't know who to trust cause i don't know who will keep my struggles between us and not share them with everyone. right? those aren't true friends so I've learned my lesson and don't share much anymore and don't put myself out there anymore. intact I've become a bit of a very private person and shut people out and then I find myself in this spot where I feel lonely. I get to the point where I feel like well why should i be the only one trying? why should i continuously try to call, text, email, see.? 
I guess tonight is my chance to throw myself a pity party cause I feel defeated by all 3 of my kids and I don't feel like I did enough and I feel like I failed today as a mom and a wife. 
This is where I'm needing God. As i put my first 2 to bed I closed their door and sat down in the rocking chair to nurse Sydney to bed. I asked God to be with me and to comfort me as I feel lonely weak and overwhelmed. I asked him to forgive me for my sins and to please fill this lonely feeling. I need him lots tonight as I lay here wishing I would press the rewind button and do it over. and praying for a new day tomorrow.

my heart....

my heart has been aching lately, not sure exactly what this is or where its taking me. But its been aching and Ive been in prayer a lot lately. I find myself just praying for the kids all over this country and right here in our own backyard of OC I know there r some kids who r dealing with neglect and who go to bed without kisses or hugs and maybe not even have enough warm blankets or a pillow. Im thinking of these kids and praying for them and the ones who r in foster care and those who are aging out of the system and who are being told to go and be the adult they were hardly taught how to be and don't know where to go. 

So my heart aches because if I knew where I could go to hold and kiss and hug every one of them, read them a story, play with them just simply love on them and be a positive influence on them I would right this minute and feed them and love them and I wish that would make all their problems go away even though I know it wouldn't but Im just so saddened lately thinking of them. 

Im praying God will open doors for me to help in some small way to use up all this love I have to share not only with my own kids but how it really is endless and I could use it to show love to others as well.

Just a little prayer I wanted to share and jot down where my heart has been 

Family pics!!

Im sooooo thrilled that we got our family pics done and that it all went smoothly... as smoothly as it can go with a bunch of kids and a teenager and 2 adults lol but i think it went well and I am sooooo pleased with them :) So here r some and I can't wait to print them out and hang em up everywhere! Thanks to Shara a friend from Nurture :) she is truly an amazing mom of 3 also and a awesome photographer!

 silly girl

 hehehe

 sister love!

 seriously love these girls and wouldn't know how to live without them! so blessed to have all 3!!

 this is soooo funny how much Sydney wanted that candy cane!

 Handsome teenager! 16! yikes!

 and of course "boy" he is part of our family and got where ever we go he is one of us for sure

 sweet, beautiful Sophie

 Funny, loving Sarah

 silly, squeezable Sydney

 the ground was so cold! srry baby but this is a really cute face!

 my babies!!!

 my Husband he is so wonderful and I love him lots

 kisses

 yea I think he loves me to!

 love having shots of just us!

 yep! thats us!! gotta love us!

Christmas time at the Sandbergs

So this year i have been busy decorating and getting festive in here. 

Christmas tree-check!

Wreath hung on front door-check

nativity scene-check

ginger bread bought

cookie supply bought 

presents bought

yep almost ready!

this yea it has been on my mind to set some real traditions and possibly ones my kids will want to carry on. this is something we didn't have growing up there was never any real traditions and this year i would really love to start some. 

It was super fun to talk about this at my mommy church groups and to hear what other do and to adopt some of theirs into our family. 

1st- with our nativity scene we removed baby Jesus and will place him in the manger on christmas morning and for now Sarah gets to place him there and next maybe Sophie and the next maybe Sydney :) 

2nd- 3 presents for each kid! symbolizing the 3 wise mens gifts. 

   Gold: something they want

   Frankincense: something spiritual

   Myrrh: is something u need.

3rd.- is doing something for someone else as a family. this year we haven't decided what that looks like yet.

4th- drive around looking at christmas lights with hot cocoa and while we have babies who don't enjoy looking at lights from the car we decided we r going to the Newport beach boat parade :)

lastly 5th- bake cookies and deliver em to the neighbors while looking at the neighborhood lights (this we have done for the past 4yrs)

we were gonna do the advent calendar this year but time got away from us and I decided i have enough stuff on my plate I'm gonna skip it and maybe do it next year :)

But i do read Christmas stories and the Jesus story from our kid bible and play Christmas music and have some fun crafts for the kids leading up to christmas day.

been a while?

yep its been a loooong while. a whole month has gone by with no blogging. i start off with good intentions f bloggin but get so buys with other things and it slips my mind till i see everyone else blogging and thinking "o yea i need to to" 

So lets see so much has happened this past month yet so much has stayed the same. 

Sydney just tuned 7 months!! and this is the longest i have breastfed and I am really enjoying not buying formula on a weekly basis yet I am sure wishing this baby would take a bottle here and there... 7 months of breastfeeding means 7 months of not getting a real break! No mommy days out no dates no long walks on the beach no picnics with the hubs.... BUT i have to say that this has totally been worth it. As much as I have complained and asked for advice, every time I sit down to nurse and stare at that sweet precious babe nursing away I feel so blessed and loved so much by her that she is able to be nourished and fed from me. Its a special bond I will never forget and this time in life though it can be rough it is soooooo precious to me and is slipping away way to fast. 

As I type here the 3 little princes sleep soundly in their beds and I can just picture all their sweet little faces and want to run up there and kiss em all over. I am such a blessed mommy to have these 3 blessing call me "mommy"

My day to day prob looks a lot like yours if u have 3 kids. and even though I may whine a complain about how tired I can get and how low my patience can get I always try to remind myself of how fortunate I am that I am able to have this life and love on those kids all day. 

I tend to be a very optimistic person and so much tho that I can come off as if I have it all together all the time and that I seem to be doing it all and that I must never loose it and get mad and frustrated or that nothing goes wrong over here and that my kids must be perfect....

The truth is sooooooo far from that but the truth is that I choose to focus my energy and give attention to all the good things that go on in my life cause the bad moments shouldn't be aloud to waste any of my energy and they don't deserve the focus. 

I to have many times in my day specially with 3 kids and one 4yr old who thinks she is going on 10 sometime and 2 babies! yes 2! Sophia is sooooo not much of a toddler yet she is such a baby still and is very needy and wants to be held and cuddled and played with and Sydney who is wanting all of me too! So I am spread thin and I loose my patience and I can yell at my kids and scream and want to run away. Im sleep deprived and hungry and thirsty and need to held too! Im a needy girl too! lol so this house is full of needy girls! HELP! lol poor husband. Who yes is needy himself too...

But i have come up with a great way to sneak around all the negativity that can consume us and can take over our day by giving attention to all the bad moments in our days. 

only give attention  and engery to the good things in life! (sounds optimistic? nah ) by doing this it helps me to feel happy and to move past the hiccups in the days. I love to only focus on the brighter side of things and then pray for the frustrating parts of my days which is usually Sarah talking back to me or repeatedly doing something I asked her not to do. 

I have also become a huge friend of schedule since I became a mommy. If I live by my schedule then we r all happier around here! it can be bent or broken sometimes but while hubbys working many many days in a row which usualy means many 24hr shifts in row for me, I usually won't break it unless is a special outing or activity that can't be rescheduled.

Ive been printing out task sheets and set em up for us and along with a house cleaning schedule so no bathtub or toilet got un scrubbed and no one runs out of underwear... which yes btw has happened!(cause i hate laundry soooooooooo much) So task scedhule r a must here in the Sandberg house for sure! I also don't do everything in one day which has saved me from going crazy from being overwhelmed. 

I also love to be organized and everything has its place and I like to be able to say its upstairs in the closet to the right on the top shelf and have that thing be right where i say it is... so is that what they call OCD? not sure but whatever it is its working for us. 

Ill have to blog and show my schedule and post pics of our meal planning and house cleaning and daily task sheets. soon.